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if one of them wants sex

Posted by on Apr 3, 2017

For example, if one of them wants sex, he or she may flirtatiously say, “Is it a little cold in here sweetie?” Suppose their partner says, “No. Not at all cold.” Then the response of the amorous partner might be, “Let me check that stupid thermostat.” This kind of response would save face. It pretends that the attempt to connect didn’t really have a sexual overture. The reason that people ask indirectly for sex is because it is hard for most people to say, “Would you like to make love?” and then hear their partner say, “No.” This is because when they hear “No,” it feels like their partner is saying something like, “Make love to you? No way. I’d rather walk the dog.” The rejected one takes it personally. So rather than risk hearing this, he or she prefers instead to ask indirectly or just not ask at all. Learn more at http://mpommett79.hatenablog.com/entry/2015/11/07/113017 and http://chrshrt112.typepad.com/blog/2016/04/does-irexis-actually-work.html

Accordingly, we want you to try not to ask indirectly for sex. Instead, agree with one another that you will ask for sex when you are in the mood, and then find a way to gently refuse it when you aren’t. How do you do that? One way is to use a 9-point scale of amorous feelings, with 1 being “not at all” and a 9 being “extremely or very much” in the mood. Then one partner can say to the other, “Honey, the kids are asleep and tonight I’m a 7. How about you?” The reply can be, “No, sorry, I’m a 2 tonight.” Or sometimes the response could be, “I think I have been a 9 all day. Let’s go to bed.” MYTH #5: Spontaneous sex is better than planned sex. WRONG. Make sex a priority and make time for it (planned or not). This sounds like a simple enough idea, but few couples actually make sex a priority. This is especially true in couples with new children. One of the most common complaints we hear from such couples is that sex feels like the last chore of the day. But it doesn’t have to feel like a chore, even if it does come at the end of the day when the kids are asleep. Stacey said, “I’m worn out when the kids are finally in bed and everything is finally shut down. I will be in bed reading a book and he will put his arm around me, or want to hug. I’ll put down the book and think, ‘okay, here comes my last obligation of the day.’ But then he gets tender. I start warming up. It’s a 5 or 10-minute transition to get me warmed up. But things have improved for me since the baby. Sex is better. It’s happening less often but it’s better when it does happen. I think that’s because it’s deeper now. There’s love and respect, there’s a sense of history together we never had when we were dating. There’s the teamwork. He has learned to slow down and be tender and when I feel that, I melt inside. I’m ready.” this Mark said, “Pre-baby we were at it a lot more. But it’s not about not having enough sounds time. That’s not it. Our intimacy was completely blown open by having kids. Learn more at http://alphaguys.weebly.com/sizegenetics.html

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